Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
