I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
