i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
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I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
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I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
is it fun? or sober?
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