You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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