What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
