I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
