I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
