We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Randomize
