If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize