i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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