just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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