Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He has the fingertips of a God
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
