it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
