If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
