Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
