I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
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I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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