Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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