you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
