Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I still have a little drunk in my system
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
