So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
