Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
