Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
