nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
