If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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