and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
wow bdsm is so cute
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
