just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My life is pants optional.
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