Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
