I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
