He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
