His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just found puke in my bra..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
