if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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