return my video game
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
