if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
