Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
