I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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