Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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