try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
