Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
