we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
