Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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