Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she peed on how many people?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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