i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have already put on my inside pants.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
