we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
