OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Randomize
