I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
