If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just google imaged poop.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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