am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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