You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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