Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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