i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
