Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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