Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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