Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
