I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
