My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
