He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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