Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
