I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
