He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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