what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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