My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
