Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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