I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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