You made me cry and you don't even care
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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