I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Terrible idea I love it
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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